critical shortages

I’m very impressed lately by the number of people sending me email encouraging me to join them in ’shoving it to the petrol robber barons’.

Of course.

It makes perfect sense, in times of measure, that we act like spoiled children. Bad mummy and daddy is taking our toys away, so we should respond in a way which will really hurt them. We pout. We won’t buy your petrol today. We bought enough yesterday, so screw you! Or, what the hell, I’ll buy it tomorrow. All of which really punishes mummy and daddy.

A barrel of texas tea contains approximately 159 litres, about the same measure for a barrel of whiskey (which costs slightly more per litre). A barrel of crude distills down to about 72 litres of petrol. The rest is converted into a range of interesting products including bitumen, kerosene, diesel and more.

According to the MED, New Zealand uses around 2.2 million tonnes of petrol per annum (2,900 million litres), of which about 75% is regular grade. That’s about 7.9 million litres a day. There’s about 2.2 million cars in New Zealand – some run on diesel.

Diesel consumption is around 1.9 million tonnes per annum (2,400 million litres) some of which is used by trucks and Remuera tractors (God, darhling, I had to drop of Tiddles to obedience school on my way to the OKOP* morning tea fund raiser). Our cuzzies across the ditch in Australia use a bit more – currently around 13.5 million tonnes of petrol and 6 million tonnes of diesel per annum.

Getting back to punishing mummy and daddy, 7.9 million litres cashes in at about $12.1 million, based on $1.529/litre. As we know, the Government slurps off with quite mouthful of that. I’m guessing a third – call it the .529 part of the price. Means mummy and daddy are splitting up about $7.9 million/day. Or, more to the point, are going to be punished by missing out on splitting up the day’s takings. They’ll have to suck it in and fund the loss from the other $ 2,875,600,000 they’ll make over the rest of the 364 days.

The loss of that 1/365th of their annual taking will really make them bleed out their eyes. For my emailers earning $50k/pa that’s like dropping $136.98. About what you might spend each week on petrol cruising to the drive-thru.

Personally, I’m inclined to think the critical shortage is not about fuel or fuel substitutes, rather, as a former teacher said to me, “There’s no substitute for thinking”.

What’s the point of filling the tank today, emptying it out tomorrow, and then thinking you’re really punishing mummy and daddy by not filling up again until the following day?

What I propose is, instead of trying to punish mummy and daddy by not using the potty, make a real point by evacuating elsewhere. Specifically, I recommend not using fuel all day.

Send this link to everyone you know. Let’s shove it up the oil and other robber barons. How?

Ring in sick.
Stay in bed. Snuggle up with your lover. Cuddle. Read. A gentle walk. Play with the kids. Ring your folks, or, ideally if you can, stroll over to see them. Walk down to the water. Stack some rocks. Go fishing. Chat to your neighbours – they’ll be home too. Weed the garden. Listen to the birds. Blog. Blob. Write a diary or start a visual journal. Cook soft boiled eggs with toast soldiers. Crumpets with golden syrup. A little dancing. Soothe through the day. Maybe spend the entire day not buying anything, and if you do buy something, walk to get it. Do nothing, or even less. Sip some wine. Have a beer. Breathe. Turn off tv. Calm down a little. Life is short – if today was your last day on earth would you genuinely spend it going to the office? And if you really enjoy your day (and even if you don’t) why not do it again tomorrow? It’s environmentally responsible, socially acceptable, and will do wonders for your sex life.

Time is the one thing there is a critical shortage of. Reclaim your life. Ring in sick.

Send this link to everyone you know. May the internet sag at the knees with the linkfest!

*OKOP = Orphan Kittens Of Peru. This worthy charity is facing critical shortages of your donations, please contact the blogmaster for free information about where to send your cash or oil shares.

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