There’s endless crap on the internet about spending time with other people and often it’s wrapped around some sort or religious claptrap. This post is not about that kind of approach to spending time with your husband. If that’s your thing, that’s fine. Please feel free to click off…
What qualifies me to post on this subject? First, someone asked about the topic. Second, I am a husband and so this gives me some grounds to believe I can have a valid opinion about the subject. Again, you don’t have to read, you can click off…
I’m working on the principle here that pretty much everything is fine and your are feeling safe in your relationship. If you are at risk – and this means physically, emotionally, spiritually, or financially – get out. Do not wait. Do not hesitate. Get out. It will only get better when you are safe.
That being said, how do you spend time with your husband? First, it’s not a one-stop shop. There’s not one single answer. What I do think is the source of the best answers is to ask some of those nice elderly couples who’ve been together for 50 or 60 years and ask them. And you’ll get a selection of answers. She doesn’t have to watch sports with him, he doesn’t have to go shoe shopping with her. Of course, that’s a cliché. So how do you spend time with your husband?
I’m afraid to say there is an answer suggested in the bible – in the passages declaring that for everything there is a season and there is a time for every purpose under heaven.
So the gulls have pretty much got it right – a time to stand up, and a time to sit down. You don’t have to be doing the same thing at the same time, but you do have to be looking in the same direction. You need to have some common goals – I sometimes think of them as common enemies – objectives to strive after and defeat together. And while you must share joy together, and you should share sadness together, you must never get down together – one of you must to have the strength for the other one, until you are both back in power together.
You don’t need a god, but you can have one if you wish. You don’t need lots of anything, although that’s nice. Much nicer than lots of nothing, that’s for sure. But the one thing you have to have, got to have, must have, is room in your heart for that person who is the missing part of you – the person who you can hold hands with as you go to explore the universe.