We went to Eva Dixon’s Cafe in Miramar today. It appears the staff may’ve been trained by that other famous Eva. I know we’re not beautiful people from that famous place just down the road, but we’re paying customers.
Hints to cafe staff:
If you’re serving water, why not go all out and have chilled, or even cool water. Straight out of the tap water. Water at the temperature of human blood is not attractive. I shouldn’t have to tell you the water is lukewarm, you should be able to feel the temperature when you pick the bottle out of the fridge.
It’s ok to smile. Talk. Engage with the customers. Even imagine that we’re people who’ve driven quite a long way to enjoy a great experience.
It’s ok to move quickly and efficiently and serve the customers.
It’s ok to add the bill up correctly at the end.
It’s ok to thank the customers at the end of the transaction.
It’s ok to say ‘Fuck it, I hate this ratshit job’, and leave and get another job doing something else. Your unique social skills have prepared you well for a role convincing steel that it should rust. Rock that it should rot. If you hate your job please just leave and get something better. Serving customers is not beneath you, but if you can’t do it, leave and do something more the real you. Please don’t punish us with your issues.
Cafe owners: please – hire staff. Train them. Reward them. Have simple menus with sensible prices. Insist that your staff eat one meal off the menu every day so they know what it is. If they don’t like your food, change either them or your menu. It is ok for your staff to know what the menu is, how large the portions are, and to be enthusisatic about what they do. Do the right things right. If you are in the far corners of the city, pretend we’ve travelled to get there. It’s not complicated, it’s called ‘hospitality’. It’s that thing that you do. Or, should do.
At least reward us for making the effort of seeking you out.
I hate the school holidays. Cafe’s hire kids who’re just too cool, too shy, too lazy, too whoknowswhat to serve and places that have all the potential to be a great place to have a lovely sunday brunch (Eva Dixon’s, Miramar; The Bach) turn into overpriced, under served, just plain bad (and not to be repeated) experiences. Avoid, avoid. As much as I hate writing this, at least at the drive through we get a ‘have a nice day’.